Surrendering Even More (15 May 2011)

Have you ever been so certain about something only to find out that things are not totally that way? Well, as you could tell from my previous posts, I was totally convinced that I was done with the disease. When I heard that I am not done yet, it really took me aback. I made much progress since the transplant and had been feeling so much better. I was sure that my blood tests were going to be great, so when my transplant doctor left me a message on my voice mail telling me that I was going to need to be scheduled for a biopsy, it was hard for me to believe and fully accept. I had to take a little time to get past my disbelief and move into acceptance. I am finally ready to blog about it.

I am scheduled for the biopsy on Wed. May 18th. I learned that there are still traces of the abnormal protein in my blood and marrow. My transplant doctor will do a biopsy to find out the extent of the problem. Then, I am told, my hematologist and my transplant doctor may recommend chemo or a second stem cell transplant.

After a period of prayer and meditation, I am now surrendering even more to the Will of the Father-Mother God. I am learning to love the disease. It is teaching me that control at this point in my evolution is not an option. Surrendering to the Divine Plan of my life is the only way. I embrace the lesson.

I continue to express my appreciation for all the gifts bestowed upon me by the Father-Mother God especially the gifts which awaken more and more the compassion in my heart. I pray that as I become more and more awakened, humanity also becomes awakened. As I become more healed, humanity also becomes more healed.

I thank all who have supported me throughout this challenge and pray that your lives are forever blessed.

Love-light and blessings,
Martha